My Professional Education Has Started

Having worked for Microsoft for the past 2 and a half months, I would have to say that I have learned a lot.

One of the things that I have realized is that when you do some job, you gotta do a superb job that you'd be ready to stake your life on it. There is a culture of smart people--ehem, ultra smart people--in the company. And making amateur mistakes will just make you silly and... amateur compared to these guys.

And nothing stills or calms me as effective as that thought. The first few weeks, I was doing just enough to not screw things up. But sometimes, just getting something to work, or fixing a bug isn't enough. It's embarrassing when your bug is the only bug that comes back because a tester found some scenarios where things still break down.

I have these teammates that are technically strong, I cannot comprehend how they think. They can tell you what's wrong at a glance. I mean, c'mon! I almost think that they already know the app inside out and that they're just pretending they haven't done this before.

What's funny as well is that each of my teammates, when placed in a mediocre company would probably be the star programmers there. And despite their mind boggling skills, they stood shoulder to shoulder with everyone else.

Because of this, I have found new respect for the software captains of different businesses that are pioneering today's Internet. The software developers of Google, Symantec, Amazon, etc.

That's it for now... Time for me to sleep...

Quote

Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you
realize why it never worked out with anyone else...

Real Man #2

I thought about going through some of the more famous characters in my list. These characters are usually the heroes in movies. But I thought, "Meh, that's a cheesy of going about that". I would like to emphasize something that is hard to easy, and using heroes in movies would just take away from what I would like to say.

The next character that I'm going to talk about instead was neither the main character in the movie he appeared in, nor was the most obvious choice for real Man #2. But in that movie, he talks, moves and most importantly live with a passion for what he does that few people on Earth possess.

So, without further delay, meet real Man #2... John Laroche from the movie "Adaptation."



John who?!

Yep, John Laroche. If you're resourceful, you can try and read up on this character, from the movie "Adaptation", before continuing to read. Or if that movie was memorable to you, then you would have an idea on why I chose him.

If you are really interested in getting to know the guy, watch the movie. Enjoy it, if it's the first time you're going to watch it, paying no particular attention to John Laroche. That way, you don't judge him prematurely. Let the movie sink in and how the characters mesh in. John didn't end up in the best situation at the end of the movie, and it didn't mean he wasn't a Man.

He was a Man when he met Meryl Streep's character. You can see--nay, feel--the character's passion for orchids and how this spilled to Meryl's character. As I say this I am threading in thin waters. People can easily dismiss what John Laroche did in that movie. "Oh, so he's just talking passionately... I can do that as well." What I'm saying is hard to get, and might take a few times watching the movie to get it.

John Laroche lived passionately, and loved his work with a passion that transcended risking his life for what he believes in.

Surgery Aftermath

Gah, I took some heat for something I did, or rather, did not do before the surgery. The thing is I called my parents after the fact. I did that to lessen the worry my parents, especially my mom, will be having. From the conversation I had with her though, she worried so much nevertheless.

Hmmm, it was really wierd when I was confined. I didn't feel I was in danger or that I need to let people know about it. It wasn't a big deal enough to let people know about it.

Actually, I was prepared for the worst. If this were a very very risky surgery and I was going to die, I was ok with it. The wierd thing is, there was no resistance from my part. I felt that if my destiny was to live for just 27 years, then that's the destiny I would accept. I don't have a wife or kids to leave, I was free. I could leave the world just as I am.

Just Got Back From GallBladder Stone Operation

Last Friday, my back started experiencing severe pain. I made the unusual call of going home early due to pain. It wasn't something I wanted to be known for or do many times. But I had to call it early. It was really painful. And for some reason, there was something different about it.

I went back to my clinic about 30 minutes away. It was a long drive, and part of the reason I was moving to a new apartment was to lessen the commute considerably. By the time I got to the clinic, I had vommitted at least once already. Shortly thereafter, the residing doctor realized I wasn't having an acid reflux disease again. He noticed it was the symptoms of gall bladder stones. He got up some test measurements and sent me off to the emergency room of the nearest hospital.

My current roommate drove me there, and at this point, the pain was just too much and there was no relief from it that I broke down. I was crying for the first time in my life because of something I had absolutely no control over.

I was admitted to the emergency ward and was treated with painkillers. Powerful enough to make you sleepy (and do other stuff as I would later learn). After that, I got an ultra-sound of my abdomen and was scheduled for an emergency gall bladder removal for the next day. All I could think of at this point is "Sweet!".

Haha, I didn't know if I was being naive or what, but I was happy that someone has finally realized there's something indeed wrong with me and that I needed to be checked out.

After that, I called a few people at work and told them I'd be missing work. Everyone was wishing me well, except my manager who's definitely not happy that I'll be missing work while there's a deadline. I don't mind. It's not like I can control what's happening.

I had called Paolo Aseron (who's in Oregon, about 4 hours away) and told him of my condition. He said a few things and we ended the conversation. The thing that I liked about my bed in the hospital was that I could control the level of pain killers I'm getting, up to a limit.

"Do I feel pain?" just click a button! W00t! It was that simple. Man, I wish life was just this simple... Anyway, because the pain killers were very powerful, I would be asleep most of the time. One time, I was woken up, and lo and behold... It was Paolo!

WTF?! How did he get here? He does not have any vehicle, but more importantly, why?!? Who, in his right mind would travel 4 hours 1 way to visit someone who's perfectly ok?

A few moments later, my new roommate just visited me! Whoa?! I told Paolo in our conversation to tell her I can't meet her on Saturday because I was rushed to the hospital that Friday. He told her of the hospital's name, and that's that. She took it upon herself to find me there. Oh btw, my new roommate is a pinay who has a fiancee.

Anyway, that was that. The next two days, I was just busy trying to stay awake and show up for the surgery and procedures. The nurses in Evergreen hospital are the best, most professional group of nurses I've seen in my life, and they deserve every penny they're getting, and even more. They'd really make you feel comfortable right down to the tiniest detail.

It didn't feel like a hospital stay, it felt like a hotel stay, where you just share a room with a guy named Bob and that you wear some pretty lose fitting clothes. Anyway, I had a blast, it's not something I would like to repeat again, but it's something I'm thankful for for having experienced.

Does Money Buy Happiness?

My current roommate that I'm leaving is short on cash. And his 18 year old son who lives away wants to go to a choir tour. The son's a budding musician and basically need money to get on this tour for his musical education. A few nights back, my roommate lashed out in frustration at how he'll get money to pay for his son's expense.

He can barely pay his bills, and I'm leaving (which means he won't be getting rent), and his reserves are virtually non-existent. I could see it in his eyes that it's a tough spot for him. He needs money for his personal expense and he needs it for his son.

So tonight, I was in my room and I felt rumblings outside in the living room. I didn't go out immediately, but I saw my roommate hauling furniture with his son into the apartment, stuff that people are going to throw away anyway. I chatted with him and his son.

The funniest thing is that they were having a hell lot of a time. They were laughing their asses, joking around, and genuinely having fun while doing this to raise money. They looked like they bonded along the way.

It's funny how you seem to have fun when you don't have money...

One of the worst feelings in the world

A lot of things happened the past two days. I went to a clinic because I was having intense pain in my stomach again. My acid reflux disease has come back in full force. The doctor thinks it's GERD (look it up if you're interested). Anyway, I could talk about that since that's what's been bothering me for the last two days.

But I want to write about something that I remembered just the 15 minutes ago. It was one of those "small" things that defined a person's life after it happened. I didn't realize it will have defined my life until 15 minutes ago... lol. I'd like to add that this is only one such incidence and that there have been many like this in the course of my life.

Anyway, it started out as any other day. I talked to my brother, Rocky. And he said that my other brother, Mikko, plays at this poker site. Now, of all the people in my family, Mikko is the one that's not close to me. For some reason, unknown to me, he avoids me. I might have hurt him in some way before. I just felt that whenever I talk to him that he's putting up a brave face.

I wanted to be closer to him, and I was excited that he was playing poker. So, with this news, I could spend some quality time with him. I didn't really want to get anything out of him. I just wanted time with him. So, I went to the site, and it wasn't one of those real money poker sites. It has a very kiddy look and feel. It's just for people--kids probably--to enjoy the game harmlessly.

I had been playing poker for quite some time, so I figured, well, maybe I can impress my brother, and we would have a jolly good time. I signed up, and got around 500 worth of play money. My brother had thousands, since he has been playing a much longer time at the site than I have.

I searched for him in the site, and when I found him I went to his table and played. Nothing out of the ordinary, he looks like he has a good hold of the game, but it also looks like he's not familiar with the odds of the cards.

For some reason, I was talkative at the table, chatting away at people and overall, being very active in the table. I was trash talking at my brother, saying "I'll take your [play] money," and other comments to that effect. Anyway, I was just trying to be an ass so he can laugh at me when he beats me.

While I was trying to show my brother some moves, other people were coming and going to the table. And there was this person, who stayed for a while. After some time, I started talking to "her". Now, upon reflection, I couldn't have been certain this particular player was a she, but at that time, I assumed she was a she.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I started trash talking this player. She won a few pots against me, and I wanted to get under her skin. I goad her to play more hands and to try and bust me out. This goading, and getting under the skin of other people are quite common in real money poker tables. A lot of players would do that so that they can make their opponents emotional and thus force them to take more risks with their money.

Anyway, from years of playing poker, I picked up on how to do that, and I was virtually on auto-pilot "harrassing" this player. I even saw her keep some of her won money "under the table". What I mean by this is if you started with, say 500, and you won to 3000, you stand up, and get back at the table with 500 only, preventing the 2500 from being lost.

When I saw her do this, it was time to pounce! I made several comments to the effect that I was just trying to get her riled up and play with me. After some time, she left the table, and I went on and played with my brother and we did have a good time.

Now, what's the point of all this? For some time, it was eating me up on how I treated that player. She could have been a small kid, who was innocently enjoying the game, and keeping something away. She didn't deserve to be treated like that. It felt that she my jabs personally and was offended by them. I made her time there hell. She has gone there to enjoy her time, and all she got was this guy giving her a hard time unprovoked and undeserved.

Fast forward to today... I wish I could say sorry and explain myself to her. Actually, I don't want to explain to her. I just want to say sorry. I have no excuses for it. I was being a jackass and I realized how I might have hurt someone for no reason at all.

A gnawing feeling was eating up on me since that day. I felt I was a monster...

And there are few feelings in the world much worse than feeling like that. You can be poor, have your dreams shattered, be embarrassed in front of people, but only a few can really be much worse than feeling like a monster.

Ever since that day, I didn't want to hurt other people... ever again.