Jenn, part deux

Michelle looked at me seriously. "I thought you said you liked older women?"

Whoa, where did this question come from? Michelle is Jenn's friend. And she's probably in her 30's. And since she's older than I am, I told her in the past--as a flirt--that I like older women. (That's the truth actually. There's something about mature confident women that's so sexy.) But Michelle is just a friend. I am a little bit playful with her sometimes. And Michelle probably thought there was something more to my playful banter.

"Umm.... Yeah, I do.", I replied, with a puzzled look on my face.

"So, I found out you asked Jennifer out. Didn't you know she's too young for you?"

I thought to myself: "Uh oh, this is not going to end pretty."

"Do you know how old she is?"

That made me think. You see, I've had the hardest time guessing the age of caucasian women. I'm pretty sure Jenn was around 24-25. So that puts our age gap at around 3-4 years. That's not bad I thought. So, there's no reason I should be ashamed of admitting that.

But before I could utter anything...

"She's only 19 you know," Michelle said.

Perhaps it was that I was thinking of other things, like how Michelle seems to be upset that this revelation didn't register quickly. All I could mutter was:

"Oh wow." LOL!

That explains a lot regarding the text messages we had exchanged back and forth. I thought it was just quirky... Her being only 19 kind of explains how she responded to some of my text messages. It wasn't one particular text message but one can sense that there's still a kid behind it. She's not a woman yet :(.

I wanted to say to Michelle right there that I would turn Jenn into a woman. Hahaha, that would get me a slap in the face. Jenn's boyfriend was probably still a kid.

But for some reason, the words didn't come out. It simply didn't feel right. I had to let it go... A few more minutes and we ended our conversation. I know she was still upset that I asked her friend, instead of her. I left, oddly enough, contented though.

...

As the weeks had gone by Jenn and I still communicate, either through text or an occasional visit to the Redwest campus. I'd still flirt with her though. The thing that I like about her is she really gets my jokes. That's something rare I found out.

And that's what is so fun being around her...

Janis Ian's Tea and Sympathy

This is just a gorgeous song.

Jenn

I was hoping to avoid writing about this topic because it's one of the less pleasant experiences I've had. But then again I want to look back to this time and relive the memories. So, having said that, let me recount what happened.

It all started when I was supposed to meet a friend in Microsoft's Redwest cafeteria. It was around 3pm, and the day was dark and dreary. Most people think it's depressing. I find it refreshing.

I use to see this girl there whose name I would later learned to be Jenn. She's pretty. Always ties her dark hair in a pony tail. She has a milky white complexion which I noticed is common in the Northwest part of the United States. Her nose stands out quite well and works well with the rest of her other facial features that makes her pretty.

She works there in the cafeteria. And I had admired her from a distance, but nothing was serious about it.

That was until of course, I planned to meet a friend that day at 3pm. The cafeteria was fairly big, so I was searching for him for a few minutes. But before I could find him, I noticed Jenn sitting by herself. I noticed that she was looking at me, perhaps trying to determine if I was someone she knows. I said a casual hi, and she returned the favor. Wanting to prolong the conversation, I told her I saw her by RTC (Redmond town center) a couple of days back. She said she was with her friends to watch "I Am Legend". I asked about specific points in the movie, and after a few more minutes of back and forth talk, I said she enjoy her day and I went back to search for my lost friend.

The conversation felt good. But I had easily forgotten about it. Days later I was able to chit chat with her again, I told her that the following week will be my last week in Microsoft. We had a short conversation about it, and I even made some jokes... which to my surprise she got them right away. At this point I was thinking that perhaps there's a chance that she would be interested in me.

And what happens next is perhaps the greatest moment in that conversation. Bluntly, I asked her if she has a boyfriend. The reason for the bluntness was I wanted to convey that I was dead serious about my intentions and that I didn't plan on beating about the bush. Now, asking this question was perhaps not the most tactful thing I have done. Nor does it exactly serve my purposes. When asked this question, women generally tend to be guarded at the very least or worse, freak out.

She probably paused just 1 second before answering, but it seemed like it took longer than that. If she says no, then yay for me! If she says yes, well... it does not necessarily mean anything. (yeah right...)

"Yes I do." was her reply.

"Bummer", I thought.

I forgot how I managed to salvage my bruised ego and make a graceful exit. But I did. And I went back to my office... somewhat deflated... but oddly enough, exhilarated.

It was a ballsy question. And I had to find out right away if there was an opportunity there or not. I would love it if there was. But regardless of the situation, it was a gutsy move that I was proud of. So despite it not going how I wanted it to go, I was able to do it. I pulled the trigger so to speak.

Now the next day... I was caught up in how hectic my schedule was that I forgot about this conversation. So I saw her again, this time from a distance. There's just something about looking at her that makes time seem to slow down. Something graceful, something that makes me say "Aahhh... there she is..."

I know she has a boyfriend, but so what? This is America! People switch boyfriends here like they switch shirts. So, why not give it one more go?

I'd rather make a fool of myself a second time rather than give up this quickly and never know what could have been. So... I timed my approach so that there's not a lot of people, and only the two of us are there. I started a chat again. But this time, I would like to make it explicit that I was asking her out for coffee.

I explained to her it was my last week in Microsoft and that I would appreciate it if we could have coffee together. I didn't try to say anything cheesy because she probably already knows why I'm asking her. If I said something else, she'll see through it. And I'd rather be lame than disingenuous.

For some miracle from God, she said yes. I even asked for her number and she gave it to me. "What the hell!?", I was thinking to myself.

Was there something different today than yesterday? Yesterday, she was all, "Oh, I have a boyfriend" mode, now she's giving her contact information and saying yes to my asking her out on a date.

Now, fast forward to the day of the coffee 'date'.

[Hmm, I'm getting sleepy. Perhaps I'll continue this at a later time...]

Beauty of Seattle

This is one of those appreciation posts... So I warn you, it might be too cheesy.

I woke up one day and looked at the window outside. It's 'sunny' by Seattle standards. And it made me remember back when I was in San Diego. Weather like this isn't considered 'sunny' there, in fact, people will be puzzled because it's a little bit tad darker.

A lot of people have shied away from Seattle's weather. They use words like 'bleak', 'drenched', and other melancholic adjectives. They hate the rain, and the early darkness that follow.

I see it differently. The rain is actually romantic. When else can you stop and squeeze in to a tiny space to avoid the rain? And when you do stop, you can then appreciate where you are. The people around you. The surroundings.

And when it's 'sunny', I feel energetic. In San Diego, I did feel energetic, but I didn't appreciate it that much. In Seattle, since sunny days are few and far between, I can't help but smile. "What a wonderful day it is today!" becomes a genuine feeling. Indeed, I haven't seen a sunny day for long times that it's truly makes me appreciate when it does come. And I just am there, by myself, marveling at what the sun reveals.

Seattle has a different weather pattern than other states I've been in, but none the less beautiful. I just need to stop and be still and she reveals her beauty.