End of week

I hardly find time these days to do an update on this blog. A lot of it has got to do with the fact that I don't have Internet in my place. So if I am in the mood to write, I miss the opportunity to record it. And if I am in an Internet console, I'm usually not in the mood to write.

I have usually stayed late at work, earning the trust and confidence of my managers and superiors. It's a great feeling to learn how to do various stuff and even coordinate various efforts, like media developers, database plumbers, content managers, QA engineers and see them merge and integrate to ship a software product.

To me, the most satisfying part of what I do is knowing that I did my best on my small part of the project. And to actually see people use it and up to their satisfaction is tremendously gratifying.

But today, something happened. For some reason, I woke up late this morning. I usually wake up at a very late 8am. My 10-minute bus ride is short enough to get me to work by 9. Today, however, perhaps from the late nights I've been doing, I woke up at 9. I had to get to work quick. I managed to catch a bus at around 9:20.

When I got to my work place, I learned the sad fact that 80% of other contractors in my place were fired... Of around 25 people, I was one of 5 left. My initial reaction upon knowing it was shock. How could a company just do this? These people weren't slacking off in their jobs. They performed up to expectations and did what they're told. They couldn't possibly do anything else to prevent from being fired.

Inside of me, I became uneasy. I felt guilt, relief, shame, anger, frustration and unbelievably, pride that I was one of those who got to ask to stay. On one hand, it was a pat in the back that they let me stayed... Kind of a thumbs up. On the other hand, my friends... the people I've been interacting and bonding with for the past weeks/months, out of work.

After going through the day, with my sense of security threatened, I phoned my good friend from Florida, Manu. I told him what has happened and provided me with some ideas on what to do. I definitely would like to find another job. I can't stay here. With the work load of 25 people now gonna be shared by 5, it's tremendous pressure. And also, btw, the job isn't secure to boot, in case you forgot.

The coming week will certainly be interesting...