Posting Again...

How long has it been?

I thought that I would have left this blog and not write another entry again. There does not seem to be anything of worth to write...

Until recently, when a process at work called 'scrum' rekindled my joys for organizing and planning things. I just bought a whiteboard and got some post its, and followed how we're doing it at work.

I love how we get our tasks organized, which is especially important in an industry as chaotic as the writing software. Anyway... how is this blog related to that?

Well, I figured that in addition to my scrum white board, I needed a way to log my progress through various goals that I want to achieve. At first, I thought of buying a notebook where I could write my progress. But in this day and age (not to mention my tendency to lose physical items), a notebook seem out of place. I'd want to be able to access information such as charts, progress numbers, pictures readily and from anywhere. And the Internet is the closest thing to that.

So, here I am, finding myself in a familiar role of a blog writer. But I don't want to use that term. This is more of a journal for me. Not a blog. It is meant for me to track my progress.

Having said that, I'm glad I'm back. Now, let me pull up my sleeves and begin to work.

A Social Experiment

I'm trying to start some social experiment to answer a certain question. It's similar to the concept of 'Pay It Forward' wherein I try to help people. But there are certain modifications. Just because I think PIF is susceptible to being used incorrectly and for corrupt reasons.

What if I were to live for 30 days...
(1) Giving my time, possession and money to anyone who needs it, regardless of who it is.
(2) (optional) As much as possible, I must not be found out that I helped the target.

This is more similar to Byron Katie's 'Living Amends'. And though that one is really more about setting wrongs right, this is more of a way of life. Whether I'm setting something wrong that I've done in the past is a tiny detail and isn't necessarily required.

Knowing Me, Knowing You

I was perusing ABBA's songs, half intrigued by this band that came before my time. I only know that I like their song, Dancing Queen. As I was listening to their hits, this song resonated with me. Great song, I love the lyrics. From a great band.

Conversation With Mom

I had a lively discussion with my mom recently. Me and my siblings are all suddenly grown up now, and everyone has their own life and my mom commented on how our house is frequently quiet and empty these days.

As a jab to her, I told her that it was her fault because she would constantly remind us not to marry early (cause she married at 21). And I added that when she was at my current age, I was already in grade 1.

My mom is already starting to show signs of old age. She has some bone problems and her hearing is getting worse. It occurred to me that bringing her a grand kid would bring immense joy to her. And as an act of love, I would like to let her see a grandkid before her twilight years. I know that having a kid is a big responsibility and that it cannot be taken lightly. But bringing joy to my mom into her later years is a big part of who I am. In addition, I'd like to have my own rag tag band of mini-me's running around the house causing unspeakable havoc!

And though it's not exactly make me a 'desperate' wanna-be dad, it has changed my perspective on things a little bit.

If I still can't find someone to settle down with, I am open to adopting a kid. I've always believed that women come and go in one's life. Kids however will be forever tied to who you are.

My Dream Last Night

I had a vivid dream last night. It involves two women that I know. And it is perhaps one of the most erotic dreams I've had. I'll just call them VB and SC. In the dream, VB and I were in a relationship, living together. We share a pad maybe on the 4th floor of some building.

Now, I went out alone, and met SC. We've known each other for a long time. And, despite me being with VB, I've always had the hots for her. I love both of them, but in terms of sexual attraction, I'm attracted to SC much much more. In fact, I can't resist her.

Now, dreams don't make sense. But you don't bother with that.

I don't know how it transitioned, but the next scene I was carrying SC outside the streets, where she was at my front facing me. My arms were under her buttocks. I recognize the streets. It was Ortigas Center. No one seem to notice that in addition to me carrying another person was that she was topless. No one could see she was half naked. I could see her A-cup breasts exposed to the soft breeze of the city night. It was one of the most erotic sights I've seen in a while. Because tonight, she surrendered her body to me.

Anyway, I carried her for a while. I think I have a hard-on at this point. How could I resist? I walked, until we reached what I believe is the place where I share with VB. She was upset of course upon seeing me, but I told her I had to take SC up.

She had no choice. And agreed to it. As I was taking her up through a bunch of stairs, VB was there being supportive of the process. To be honest, I was annoyed. I don't want her to be there. I wanted to be alone with SC. To make love to her. It will be 'tricky' with VB around. But she seemed to have accepted for now that I have this half-naked woman and I'm bringing her to our place.

And that was that.

Humbled

Today, I was humbled by a good friend of mine. It's not something wit malice, but he showed me that all along, he had it with him.

It was actually quite funny. We were hanging out today for coffee at Harbor Steps, enjoying a cold spring day, beside a Tully's shop. I was egging him to do something, daring him to do something crazy--specifically to approach and talk to hot random girls in public. He said he could do it, it's just that he does not need to. I thought he was just an excuse. And I did not relent teasing him. My intentions really were just to make him laugh. I didn't realize he quietly felt challenged.

Later that day, we hung out at a place called Jilian's that is fast becoming our regular after-work hangout place. We played there for a while a good 30 minutes or so. And when we finally decided to call it a day, he approached these two girls playing across the room. I didn't think much about it, and even forgot that I was teasing him about it earlier in the day. So, I headed down to ground floor exit, and just waited. Maybe I'll wait for 15 seconds, and I'm sure he'll be down here soon.

1 minute passed, then 2 minutes. He wasn't coming down.

Reluctantly, I went back up, and when he saw me, he signaled me to approach him and his new friends. I was thinking... Damn, he really did it.

Long story short, we had a fun hour or so with these two girls. And when we all said goodbye to each other, I felt humbled by my friend. I was teasing him for fun, and didn't believe him when he said he could do it but didn't need to. I've gained a new found respect for my friend. And him proving me wrong... was a great feeling.

It was humbling...

Not Enough Hours In a Day

There does not seem to be enough hours in the day to do what I want to do. I'd like to sleep longer, and do the things I like; like finish up my dvd movie rentals, write more entries on my blog, study the latest technologies, surf youtube for funny videos, workout, hangout with friends, read my backlog of books, etc. There's just not enough time to do it all. Sigh.

And this weekend is shaping up to be one of the busier ones. There's the skiing event, the long delayed shopping trip I've been promising myself, doing my laundry, cleaning my room, getting a haircut.

Ugh! I would like to enjoy every activity that I want to do... only if I don't run out of time in the day.